Smart brains, big ideas, small ideas, different agendas, different goals, politics real and imagined, put them all together and what do you get? A five headed dog. Now, try taking that for a walk.
Have you ever walked a five-headed dog? Each head wants to do a different thing, sniff this, eat that, catch a Frisbee, chase a postman… Walking that dog would feel nearly impossible. But this is what it can feel like when you are trying to integrate the thoughts, ideas, opinions and feelings of many people in a room.
I recently had the experience of walking that dog (as I regularly do) and had to remind myself what is important about leading such a beast. Show up, be present, no attachment to outcome. In this case I didn’t have a lasting stake in what the team was doing, so I was present strictly for leadership, facilitation and maybe some advice. I had to remember that the people in the room were responsible for creation of an outcome and they may not have actually agreed on what that outcome should be. Getting really clear on everyone’s goals and hidden agendas was important. “Sure Kathy, goals I can see a way to figure out, but wouldn’t hidden agenda’s by their nature, um, be hidden?” Well, yes, and you need to pay attention to what folks are saying, not saying, what their body language is doing when they are not saying anything and you’ll never really be sure what someone else is thinking by the look on their face. You need to ask probing questions and make a space where every type of person can contribute, introvert extrovert, other vert. You don’t need to figure out the hidden agenda’s just make space for them to come out or disappear.
In order to keep your energy up, remember to breathe. Be reasonable with breaks, time is limited and that’s a good thing. Don’t try to attribute like or dislike to a person based on what they appear to be thinking. You’ll make yourself crazy. Listen and be firm when taking things in a new direction, address fear with a kind calm stance and a lot of compassion (and save a little compassion for yourself). Then enjoy the ride. Because even difficult things can be fun.
