At a breakfast with a friend today I was talking about networking. It is really hard. Some people razz me for being pretty good at it (though I am by no means the queen of networking) but it is hard work. It also is hard for me when it comes for asking for help.
I think one of the reasons it seems I’m good at is that I usually have an attitude of what can I give to this person. Being stubbornly self sufficient asking for help isn’t my strong suit. That makes me a natural for what I think is the basis of good networking. The give should be greater than the ask. When you are meeting people (and don’t wait until you’re unemployed to do this) think about what you have to offer them. Whether it is listening, words or action you have something and that is what your interactions should be about most of the time. Then when it comes time to ask for help they will want to help you, you may not even have to ask. Really, for this to be the real deal it has to be genuine. I don’t calculate this so that I can ask for favors later. I’m actually drived by a deep seeded need to bring value (believe me that’s a whole other line of posts under the topic of Kathy’s psyche). I don’t think it is something I would change. It makes me happy to help others. I’m addicted to feeling needed and helpful. So get in touch with that part of you, most people have it, and you will learn to actually like networking. Sorry, but it will still be hard.
